His Real Family
by jensgraphics
Summary: "Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" and those words, that came from Dean Winchester's mouth was what broke Castiel. How does he react? Where do his loyalties lie? Are the Winchesters actually his family... or is someone else?


This is really shitty. It was quick, and just written out of emotions. I'm kinda sad right now so I just needed something non smutty and angsty with my two favorite angels... I hope you enjoy.

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"Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" Dean yelled at the angel, who closed his mouth in silence. His dark blue eyes were filled with pain, with sorrow. This isn't the first time Dean has said this. He said it years ago… when they were dealing with the Leviathans yet, it still hurt the same.

The words echoed in his head, and his chest filled with pain. His heart filled with an ache that he couldn't shake. He is broken. He is… and Dean was right. Nobody cared. Not one person. Yet again, Castiel has screwed up. Yet again, the angel can never seem to do anything right.

 _Worthless._

 _Useless._

 _Screw up._

 _Disappointment._

Those were the words that began to spin through the angel's mind.

 _Why can't you do anything right?_

 _Stop whining._

 _You're such a baby!_

 _Nobody cares that you're broken!_

 _Fix yourself._

Even more words… and they were all in the familiar voice of Dean Winchester. Even if he wasn't saying it… in Castiel's head, that's what the voice sounded like.

Castiel, an angel of the Lord. He was never supposed to feel human feelings, but he did and Heaven classified him as fallen because he put the Winchesters first. He always puts the Winchesters first… he lives to make them proud, he live sto satisfy them but it never seems to be enough. It seems like no matter what he does… he screws up. He can never please Sam and Dean.

After a moment, Castiel put down the bottle of dead man's blood he was holding. He was on a case with both Winchesters, helping them with their current situation. Sam had gone out to get some pie and salad and some beer… and that left Castiel alone with Dean. The angel offered to go instead, because he knew that this would happen but Sam insisted on going and he left Castiel alone with Dean.

The conversation with Dean started off simple at first. Just small talk… but then Dean began asking questions. As of late, Castiel's mood had changed. Lucifer had escaped from the cage, but was missing. He was nowhere to be found, not even causing trouble. The angel was worried… but at the same time, glad. He still cared for the archangel, he remembers Heaven before the fall but he didn't say a thing.

As the conversation became more serious, Dean began to ask more questions. How did Castiel feel? How was he doing? Was he okay? Why has he been so distant lately? All of these, the angel had answers for but Castiel attempted to lie. It got to a point where Dean had pushed too far, and Castiel answered: 'Dean, I cannot give you the answers to the questions you are asking because I don't know myself. All I know is that I…' and he lost himself in an explanation… and then Dean snapped in a way that hit the angel in the heart just as his father did… just as Michael did.

"Fine." Castiel replied, his voice raspy and cold. Dean's angry eyes soon became confused. "I see that my help here isn't needed. Surely you and _Sam_ have it under control. You don't need my help. I will be elsewhere so I am not in the way." Castiel responded harshly. He didn't want to stick around with the Winchester to be hurt. He was in _enough_ pain as it is… he doesn't need more and, before Dean could even protest, Castiel had flown away. He was now at an empty beach… one he normally visited. The angel was always fond of the ocean… and this outlook was his favorite place when he wanted to be alone.

It was quiet… and had a spectacular view. The wind was a gentle breeze, and it smelled strongly of the ocean. Right in the middle of the sandy beach was a log from a dead tree, which Castiel took a seat at. He just sat there and listened to the waves hit the shore, inhaled the scent of the ocean, and enjoyed the moment alone.

Soon after, the angel closed his eyes. He was relishing in the peacefulness of the ocean. No stress, no worry, all of his pain had disappeared… or was he simply just distracted? The angel didn't lift his eyelids. He preferred listening, using his ears and nose, his senses to paint the picture in his mind. He was quite a thinker… so much of one, he didn't notice that someone else had appeared behind him with a soft flutter of wings. To him, it sounded just like the wind passing by.

"This is a pleasant place." the voice spoke out behind him, startling the seraph. He jumped, losing the photo he was creating in his head as it went black. His thoughts went blank and his eyes flew open. Castiel blinked a few times as the intruder sat next to him, about a foot away from where he was seated yet, still on the same log.

"What do you want?" he muttered and turned to look at who had disrupted him. It was the infamous archangel that fell, Lucifer. The devil's ice blue eyes, however, did not shift to meet his gaze. They instead peered out at the endless ocean, his face showed no emotion.

"I heard what Dean said to you." He admitted after a brief moment. Lucifer was never really one to help anyone who was hurt… but Castiel was different. Like him, he remembered Heaven… and he still cared. He still deeply cared for the angel in the trench coat. He always has… and he always will.

"Oh." Castiel paused. He licked his lips and turned his head away so that he could gaze at the same ocean Lucifer was looking at. He decided not to say anything more because he didn't know what else to say. This time, it was the Morningstar's turn to move his head and gaze at the angel.

His ice blue eyes studied him in silence. He could see how much pain Castiel was in, and Castiel knew he could see it too. He didn't return his gaze though, he sat there in silence… letting the pain finally take over. The devil sighed, letting out a sigh as he stood up and reached for the angel's hand. He pulled the seraph up as well, and then pulled him directly into a hug… his arms wrapping around the back of his neck as he buried his nose in Castiel's dark hair.

Castiel stood there for a moment, blinking but then finally, and slowly, he wrapped his arms around Lucifer's waist and closed his own eyes. The younger angel took a deep breath, which was shaky and uneven. It hurt, it really did… what Dean said to him- what Dean _always_ says to him. It hurt him so much, and he's been pushing that down and ignoring it but it wasn't helping him.

Lucifer knew that.

And because he knew that, it's why he showed up in the first place. It's why he hugged Castiel in the first place… because he knows what it's like to be harassed by one you care about. He knows what it's like to bury everything and keep it down… and he knows that sometimes… all it takes is a hug to let it all go.

And he was right.

Minutes later, Castiel's breathing became slightly heavy and slightly shallow. He shook his head, and buried it in his chest as the tears seeped out of his eyes and began to soak Lucifer's shirt. However, the devil did not mind it. He instead stood there, his arms around him… one hand cradling the back of his neck as his other lightly stroked his upper back. He just stood there and held him- soothed him… the best he could and Castiel was grateful.

Castiel felt safe.

He felt secure…

And he knew that everything will be okay, because now… he's never returning to the Winchesters… because they aren't his home.

They're two selfish humans who use him and abuse him… and have never really cared about him.

But Lucifer…

Lucifer does care about him. He does love him, and appreciate him…

And in that moment, sobbing in Lucifer's arms… Castiel had made his mind up. He was going to stay with Lucifer, and never leave his side… not like the rest of his family did… because family _never_ leaves family behind…

And Lucifer is his _family._

 _His only family._

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